Book Review: The Reason I Jump

The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a 13 year old boy with Autism by Naoki Higashida is a must read for every parent, grandparent, teacher, doctor, and therapist that interacts with autistic individuals.  I cannot state this more clearly.  Acquire a copy as soon as you can and prepare to be enlightened.

Higashida’s experience is presented in a series of questions and answers which are interspersed with botanical illustrations and short stories by the author.  The emotional depths conveyed through his writing, the insights into his fragile human heart, and his awareness of how “normal” people relate to him as nothing more than “special needs” will change any preconceived notions you had about the autistic.  That they don’t feel.  That they are unaware of those around them.  That they are stupid. Prepare for your heart to break open as he shares the truth of his experience.  Writing in a manner that no “non-verbal” person should be able to, (especially considering he has to point to an image of a typewriter as someone else watches him and transcribes the letters he indicates), the imagery and metaphors Higashida conjured are poetic.  Proof indeed that you can accomplish anything you put your heart into.

Time Flies, Artist in Residence Edition : 5/23/2019

Nora has always exhibited a talent for the arts, and since I spent the first three years of her life working towards my art history M.A., it was something that I strongly encouraged.  It was almost impossible to choose a "then" image for today's post because there were so many great artworks, but I settled on this self-portrait/eco friendly message.  (I must have been saying something to the effect of "Don't buy me a fancy box of chocolate because the box sits in the landfill for a million years before decomposing".

Then:  Valintimes Day Self-Portrait, 2012.  Blue dry erase marker on white board.

Now:  Pop! Inspired Self-Portrait, 2019.  Marker on paper, construction paper, adhesive squares.

Talent.  Pure Talent!!!!

Here it is on display at the Fine Arts Awards Banquet held at her school.  Nora's portrait of Abby Mae is behind her, and the tree image to her left is also by Nora.

I love all of these works so much I am planning on hanging them in the house.  She, being a teenager, is mortified.

Two steps forward, one step back

Even at that rate we are making progress, although it doesn't feel like it.

Gardening is still at the top of the "small victories" list, but we've had some setbacks this week that have me a bit stressed out. 

Although I haven't finished reading The Conscious Parent's Guide to Executive Functioning Disorder by Rebecca Branstetter it makes its really clear that kids on the spectrum, with ADHD, and/or sensory kids need organization in every aspect of their life. 

Currently our home is anything but organized.  God knows I love a clean house, with well-appointed art and decor.  Three times a year (once when Minnesota cousins Austin and Heather come for a game weekend, once for Thanksgiving dinner, and once for Emily's birthday bash) I clean the house so well that Better Homes and Gardens could come and do a photo shoot of what's new in the Scandinavian-American hygge look.  And upstairs looks like a Star Wars museum in Ryan's office.  Its social-media perfect.

And then there's the other 49 weeks of the year where it vacillates between "could use a tidy-up" and midden heap.

We are currently at full on midden-heap.  SOS.  Help.

What this also means is that when I say things to my daughters like, "could you please clean your room?"  or "Fold your laundry instead of leaving it in the basket for the love of God" I'm asking them to do work that I myself haven't made time to do.

Well, since I had to leave my second job, I decided the first order of business is to clean up the house.  That would be necessary before organizing it, labeling stuff, and teaching Emily how to function in a world that doesn't necessarily march to the same drummer she does.  Picture Momma Ivy with a garbage bag in one hand and the vacuum cleaner in the other.  Time to make so much progress!

LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

That's what the kids say these days when you're being ridiculous.

"Emily let's clean your room!"

"NOOOOOO."

"I'll help you.  It won't be be bad."

"NOOOOOOO."

"Why not?  I said I'd help."

"Because you clean too perfect.  I like my room just like it is."

Oh.  Ouch?  From the mouth of babes?

So I worked on my bedroom instead.  I thought, "I'll inspire her to clean!"  I should post before and after photos, but the before is so embarrassingly real that I don't even know if I can handle being that honest with you all.  Maybe I will in the future?  I mean my place is a mess. 

When I was done with my room (and it took several days friends. It was where laundry and art supplies went to die) I pressed the issue with Emily again.  Because OBVIOUSLY clean is better than a mess.  I know it.  Marie Kondo knows it.  And the book says so. 

And that was when Emily had another complete and total melt-down. 

She cried.  She screamed.  She was unable to focus on anything else including her online schoolwork.  I felt  terrible.  I did what I always do when I'm at a loss.  I found a book on how to help ADHD kids get organized.

It said "try telepathy."

No, really.  I'm not kidding.  Beware of some of the titles on Hoopla fellow library users.

Telepathy?  What the actual ****?

After literally laughing out loud, I made an appointment with the neurologist.  While this didn't have anything to do with seizures, I swear there is something misfiring in her brain.

So we made the trip to the hospital and decided to add a second medicine to Emily's routine.  It helps with anxiety and ADHD.  I had been avoiding this path since her epilepsy diagnosis last June, but the B6 isn't enough to combat the anxiety, and not addressing the ADHD properly hasn't made it get better.  Clearly I need to do more at home, but at this point the mere mention of cleaning is making her hide in the dark.

We are also awaiting approval from the insurance company to start group therapy.  We think Emily would benefit from seeing that there are other people her age with the same issues, and that at the end of the day that's ok. 

Medicine.  Therapy.  Two more steps forward.

Planting seeds

“Acceptance makes an incredible fertile soil for the seeds of change.”
― Steve Maraboli 

Its been a week and I still don't have a plan.  As you can tell from the last post, this fact had my knickers in a twist.  But you know what?  Its ok.  We are ok.  We have a garden, and can anything really be wrong when you're under the big blue sky, running your fingers through the soil? 

No.  Especially not when your child turns to you and says, "I love this!"  For the first time I realized-understood-accepted that not all classrooms have walls and chalkboards, or technology for that matter.  I was saying it before, yes, but now this idea has a place in my heart. It just feels right.  We've made friends with the worms and the people who are in nearby plots, we're practicing patience because seeds don't sprout overnight, and I'm learning to allow Emily to make her own decisions (even when those decisions aren't the ones I'd make).  Who is the teacher and who is the student?

Since I forgot to post some pics last Thursday, I thought I'd share some images from our garden so far.

 April 26th:

Welcome to the Garden Emily

We are actually F-3 and F-4.  Here is the before.

Emily leveling the compost we added to our bed.

We had our first peek at our plots on the 26th, and immediately we both wanted to stay and fill them up with compost.  It was hard to resist staying outdoors after the long winter!  There was still a chill in the air.  We arrived in winter coats and didn't take them off until after hauling several wheelbarrows of wet compost to the beds.  No one else was around, and the majority of the beds haven't been touched as of yet.  Officially gardening season here starts May 1st, but folks are allowed to prep the beds beforehand.  This was also a good opportunity for me to observe Emily's strengths and weaknesses in this setting.  She did get distracted easily (oh look!  A butterfly!) but she did not shun any of the physical work.

May 3rd:

Planting our cool weather crops in F3

With the garden officially open, we decided to put in our cool weather seeds.  Emily helped plant peas and swiss chard.  She also wanted to plant the watermelon seeds and zucchini.  Even though they aren't cool weather crops, I figured why not.  Its a good science experiment.  Its been cold and wet.  She can see what happens to help her decide what to plant and when next year.


We also had a lesson in recycling.  All of the decorative borders that our dog bent up have been repurposed as pea and bean trellises. 

We did think about where and how to plant the warm weather tomatoes, peppers, and eggplant.  Sadly, someone nearby had already put in their tomatoes which suffered under last weeks unexpected snowfall.  Another good lesson, although at the cost of their crop. 

May 10th:  

Our first seed sprouted...along with a giant weed

Meet Thorinson the Gnome, who greets all approaching our plot.

Peanut and Cornflake the Chipmunks...the only chipmunks welcome in the garden.

Emily really thought we needed to add cauliflower to the garden, and I wanted to get in a few spinach and lettuce seeds to put in behind the peas.  So we headed to the store and came out with a few new friends for the garden.  We did some more weeding, and learned a lesson about how not to use the water pumps.  Emily was soaked to the bone so we ended up having to go home early.  Whoops.

Is this all that we're going to do for the gardening portion of summer homeschool?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  I'd like to start a journal with what works and what doesn't.  But I don't know what format that will take because there are a million different lessons to focus on...science hypotheses!  Math growth graphs!  Essays on the joys of the outdoors.  Drawing the different plants.   As soon as we have something tangible, I'll be sure to share.  But for now I'll revel in this small success.

Plan B

Art by Steve Johnson, who sells his work at https://unsplash.com/

Plan A:  Momma Ivy spends the entire summer reading books, curriculum reviews, and websites dealing with homeschool, PDD-NOS, ADHD, and Educational Disabilities.   Plan accordingly.  Purchase shiny new supplies.  Observe Emily over the summer to determine current strengths and areas for improvement.  Find therapist. Write witty observations and publish online.

Plan B:  Pull Emily out of school at 6:48 am on a random Thursday because she's hiding under her blankets screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Emily, why aren't you dressed?  The bus is coming in 10 minutes!"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Emily what is wrong?  Why are you screaming?"

"Because I'm scared you're going to punch me in the face."

(So I'm thinking, Where the hell did that come from?  Whaaaaa????) But I say, "Honey, I have never punched you, I would never punch you, and no one should ever punch you."

"But that's how I feel.  I deserve to get punched in the face."

Plan B it is.  I can't send her to school so she can find someone who is willing to punch her.