Even at that rate we are making progress, although it doesn't feel like it.
Gardening is still at the top of the "small victories" list, but we've had some setbacks this week that have me a bit stressed out.
Although I haven't finished reading The Conscious Parent's Guide to Executive Functioning Disorder by Rebecca Branstetter it makes its really clear that kids on the spectrum, with ADHD, and/or sensory kids need organization in every aspect of their life.
Currently our home is anything but organized. God knows I love a clean house, with well-appointed art and decor. Three times a year (once when Minnesota cousins Austin and Heather come for a game weekend, once for Thanksgiving dinner, and once for Emily's birthday bash) I clean the house so well that Better Homes and Gardens could come and do a photo shoot of what's new in the Scandinavian-American hygge look. And upstairs looks like a Star Wars museum in Ryan's office. Its social-media perfect.
And then there's the other 49 weeks of the year where it vacillates between "could use a tidy-up" and midden heap.
We are currently at full on midden-heap. SOS. Help.
What this also means is that when I say things to my daughters like, "could you please clean your room?" or "Fold your laundry instead of leaving it in the basket for the love of God" I'm asking them to do work that I myself haven't made time to do.
Well, since I had to leave my second job, I decided the first order of business is to clean up the house. That would be necessary before organizing it, labeling stuff, and teaching Emily how to function in a world that doesn't necessarily march to the same drummer she does. Picture Momma Ivy with a garbage bag in one hand and the vacuum cleaner in the other. Time to make so much progress!
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
That's what the kids say these days when you're being ridiculous.
"Emily let's clean your room!"
"NOOOOOO."
"I'll help you. It won't be be bad."
"NOOOOOOO."
"Why not? I said I'd help."
"Because you clean too perfect. I like my room just like it is."
Oh. Ouch? From the mouth of babes?
So I worked on my bedroom instead. I thought, "I'll inspire her to clean!" I should post before and after photos, but the before is so embarrassingly real that I don't even know if I can handle being that honest with you all. Maybe I will in the future? I mean my place is a mess.
When I was done with my room (and it took several days friends. It was where laundry and art supplies went to die) I pressed the issue with Emily again. Because OBVIOUSLY clean is better than a mess. I know it. Marie Kondo knows it. And the book says so.
And that was when Emily had another complete and total melt-down.
She cried. She screamed. She was unable to focus on anything else including her online schoolwork. I felt terrible. I did what I always do when I'm at a loss. I found a book on how to help ADHD kids get organized.
It said "try telepathy."
No, really. I'm not kidding. Beware of some of the titles on Hoopla fellow library users.
Telepathy? What the actual ****?
After literally laughing out loud, I made an appointment with the neurologist. While this didn't have anything to do with seizures, I swear there is something misfiring in her brain.
So we made the trip to the hospital and decided to add a second medicine to Emily's routine. It helps with anxiety and ADHD. I had been avoiding this path since her epilepsy diagnosis last June, but the B6 isn't enough to combat the anxiety, and not addressing the ADHD properly hasn't made it get better. Clearly I need to do more at home, but at this point the mere mention of cleaning is making her hide in the dark.
We are also awaiting approval from the insurance company to start group therapy. We think Emily would benefit from seeing that there are other people her age with the same issues, and that at the end of the day that's ok.
Medicine. Therapy. Two more steps forward.
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